The Bridal Fair

When I was eight I hated weddings. As a fifth child with a large extended family I was destined to attend countless nuptial celebrations for a throng of cousins and family friends. A wedding meant I had to wear a dress and sit still. B – O – R – I – N – G! I didn’t care one iota about the dresses, the music, or the candles. Nothing impressed me except the Jordan almonds. I would cry and beg to stay home.

When I was 15 our family had three weddings between April and September. By this time I saw weddings as a necessary evil – something that the couple had to go through for their family’s sake. I got engaged just four years later and was determined to be the easiest bride ever.

I was probably the most disinterested bride ever and I’ll bet it drove my mom crazy. I handed the wedding over to her and my three sisters. I wanted veto power – that’s all. Involving me was like pushing a string across a table. I didn’t care about any of the wedding elements. I kept nixing every suggestion because I found them all boring and a waste of time. None of the traditions meant anything to me. Candles, communion, songs, colors, dresses, flowers – I didn’t care.

My Dad walked me down the aisle and Paul met me at the front. My brother and sister sang – I know this because there’s a picture in my album. I have no idea which song. We had two ministers perform the wedding together – the one we wanted and the one we didn’t want to offend. We had three attendants each. I’m glad I included my older sister because she’s the only one I ever see now. A few weeks after the wedding the audio tape of the ceremony was stolen when our car was broken into. Aside from the photos, I remember nothing.

No one was more surprised than me when I got involved in the wedding service business. I must have discovered that doves are the one thing that can liven up a wedding and make it exciting. I made the rounds to wedding vendors and learned that the bridal show at the fairgrounds is a “must attend” event for wedding vendors. I booked at 10’ x 10’ booth and prayed for ideas.

The two weeks before the show was crunch time! I paid a graphic artist to design a professional looking logo and banner. I put together a website. I created and printed a price list and business cards. I bought silk flowers and had Emily arrange them on my baskets and birdcage. I put together a gift basket for the drawing – Dove body wash, Dove soap, Dove chocolate and a $75 coupon good toward my release services.

My ideas came from an online white dove release forum that I recently joined. Several members described their wedding show experiences and displays. While I didn’t aspire to recreate some of their presentations, I could take some pictures, show a video, and display equipment and birds. I began preparation in earnest.

My brain buzzed me with an idea. I should show a video of a dove release. My problem was I had only released doves at one wedding, and while it was beautiful, I didn’t have any video footage. Another brain buzz, Maybe I could BUY a video of someone releasing doves at a wedding and show it at my booth. I searched the web and found an awesome video from an established vendor in another California city.

I emailed the vendor asking to BUY her video so I could show a typical release to my clientele. Apparently, I violated wedding vendor protocol here. My esteemed colleague declined and proceeded to school me in ethics. Showing HER video at my booth could be construed as falsely equating my services with hers and misleading the show attendees that I had her level of experience and access to her years of accumulated trade secrets. Now I was at square one again – though wiser for the experience.

I mused over the fact that I was technologically proficient enough to steal her video, deface it of proprietary markings, and show it in a venue far enough away from her that she would probably never know anything about it. The fact that I emailed her with a request should have clued her in that I had no intention of stealing or misrepresenting anything.

The forum I joined included some helpful suggestions for a slideshow containing photos of my birds and my equipment. We went over to Ellis Lake and took pictures - lousy pictures, blurry pictures with a wing here and a wing there, timing-is-off pictures, photos that I couldn’t picture using in my booth. In my most desperate moment I discovered Fotolia. I could purchase beautiful professional images online! I bought a dozen plus quality images to use in the slideshow and on my website. I hooked my laptop up to a monitor and was ready for business. I had beautiful pictures of brides and grooms releasing birds. I had pictures of doves in flight, doves in baskets, and doves sitting and looking beautiful.

I bought a lovely wrought iron cage to display a pair of doves. Next, I bought two pair of ringneck doves. These are cage birds – smaller weaklings compared to the homing pigeons that I actually release at weddings. However, a pair of ringneck doves is perfect for a bridal show. They coo, preen, and act “lovey dovey” towards each other. They have a reputation for being pretty.

The day of the show arrived and my display doves still had little ink dots on the tops of their heads where the breeder marked them as male or female. They were molting severely - shedding tiny downy baby feathers. They had bald spots under their wings. In my haste I placed a non-pair together in the cage. The two I threw in together weren’t even on speaking terms. The male appeared especially unhappy and sat hunched with his feathers ruffed. Who could blame him? He was spending his Sunday afternoon at a bridal show with his sister-in-law!

Before the show began I visited and met vendors. There were two sisters who made and decorated cakes with a delicious booth and beautiful cakes on display. One of them stopped by my booth and remarked that they were in my exact location last year. When I stopped by their booth the other sister commented that they were stuck in a terrible location last year. Hmmmm.

I met managers of venues, providers of services, and sellers of goods. I offered referral kickbacks. I offered a photographer a free release for a bride if we could do a photo shoot of my birds and offered to link to display these pics on my website and link to hers. I was beginning to get the knack of trading favors and cutting insider bridal industry deals. I practiced gushing over photos, gowns, and cakes.

It was almost showtime. The registration table gave each bride a shiny red heart sticker the size of a dime. This is how we were to recognize our target. As women paraded through the aisles, I began hawking my services. “Come see my birds,” I would call out. I would get a few folks gathered in front of my booth and then launch into a vita-juicer style presentation. The attendees gazed at my ringneck doves. “Aren’t they beautiful?” I lied. I could tell that the men in attendance felt a strange bond with the male bird. They had the same vacant expression in their eyes.

“Let me tell you about my birds,” I would begin. I would describe doves bursting from a basket as the bride and groom kiss, doves flocking together, doves swooping and diving, doves circling the wedding party, and an entire flock soaring into the bright blue open heavens. For a visual effect, I would throw open the release basket at just the right moment. My vocabulary was wrought with “living fireworks,” “unique,” “meaningful,” “memorable,” “affordable,” and “indelible impression.”

Kids were drawn to my booth. I gave a convincing homily about how hand dove releases can be used to include children in the ceremony and set the stage for harmony in a blended family. I offered Dove chocolates to the mothers of the brides and admired them for their many sacrifices throughout the long and arduous process of planning a wedding.

I asked every shiny red heart sticker wearer, “When are you getting married?” and gushed at their location, colors, and other ideas. I assured the wary that my birds skipped breakfast the morning of the release and therefore, wouldn’t poop on their party. I teased grooms that it wasn’t acceptable to bring a shotgun or yell “pull.” I used every appeal I could think of get the word out about my services.

We booked two weddings and talked to lots of people, who will talk with other people about what we do. I even caught some of the excitement surrounding weddings. It’s a good thing because this year I plan on attending several. Watching my birds take off, flock up, and circle is one of my favorite pleasures in life and I’m excited to share it!