I've noticed that as I meditate more and more upon the Lord I sense more opportunities to share Jesus to others. I'm impressed with this conviction that there are pre-Christians everywhere around me and I simply need to stop and tune in when I feel God's Spirit speaking to me. I also want more and more to be used by God. None of this makes any sense in terms of training and disciplining myself to do what is right. It's not that I'm being undisciplined or lazy right now - it's more that these impressions and desires don't stem from my sense of obligation. They are coming from conviction, but without carrying any negative weightiness that the term "conviction" can carry.
Thursday, I was having my dryer repaired and I felt the slightest urge to speak to the repairman about the Lord. And I didn't know what to say, so I didn't. My dryer worked for about 30 minutes and quit again. In my heart, I immediately felt a sense that I would have another opportunity and should seek the Lord about it. And the conviction stays with me all weekend. Then I completely forgot about it on Monday a.m. But, the doorbell rang, I answered the door, and there stood the repairman.
Rats! I didn't prepare. True, I had thought about needing to share with him, even said a little prayer for him, but wasn't ready with any sort of an opening line. Maybe he's already saved! He went into the garage and I began the mental wrestling of how can I obey God in the least painful manner possible. Then I was overcome with an assurance that God only asks me to obey Him and I must trust that it is enough.
He gives me the update on the dryer. A broken belt and another part that should be replaced that he "missed" earlier. Just a coincidence that it needs repair again so soon. And the Holy Spirit is saying, "Coincidence? I don't think so. Tell him!" And I'm thankful when he has to go back to the shop to get a part. It buys me some time.
So, he leaves and I pray. "God, give me an opening line! Help! What do I say? What does he need?"
God gives me this line, "Do you think that you came back here because God is trying to get your attention?"
He comes back with the part. Explains the charges and his diagnoses. I deliver the line. His jaw drops. His answer, "Yes." The door flies open. So, I stumble around a bit telling him that I feel like God sees him and wants a relationship with him and he keeps shaking his head in wonderment. We talk a bit. He fixes the dryer. I pray for him and he thanks me. I totally expect to see him in church soon because I know God was seeing him and just needed an obedient person to say a few words.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ by Jeanne Guyon
I finally finished the first installment of the book of the month club. It's unusual for me to take this long reading one book. I'm usually a speedy reader, but this book was too meaty to rush.
This book shifted my focus from "serving" God to "experiencing" Christ. I found myself lingering on things that caught my attention in the Bible and in everyday life experiences. Was Jesus talking to me? I would stop and "tune in" spiritually. I wish I would do it more often, because there are times when, at the end of the day, I notice a missed opportunity and wonder what I might have received were I more receptive.
Getting tucked into bed has been an exciting aspect of this process of spiritual awakening and renewal. It seems that as I focus on the Lord and invite Him to talk to me and reveal Himself to me while I sleep, I am refreshed and drift off to sleep in the most amazingly peaceful manner. Most mornings I wake up to a song of worship in my mind. It is so wonderful! One morning I woke up to the Lord singing to me. "Come eat of me. Partake of me" was on a loop and I woke up hungry for the Word and for fellowship with Jesus.
I found that as I read this book, Jesus was becoming more real and popping out all over the place. I'd find myself talking to Him more often in a conversational manner, and I've been opening my eyes and my ears to experience anything He wants to reveal to me.
Colossians has been on my mind also. Especially Colossians 2:2-3. All the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are safely kept in Christ. Christ is in me. Can I have access to all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge? That's crazy! How can I have that kind of access? I can't get it by force. Everything points to it being "hidden," a "mystery," and a "secret." I can become more and more enlightened in my spirit as Christ reveals Himself to me.
Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ has encouraged me to alter my lifestyle and include Christ more in each part. I'm into getting my spirit strengthened and then I'll really be able to know what I mean when I say, "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." I'm so excited to find out what that will mean for me!
This book shifted my focus from "serving" God to "experiencing" Christ. I found myself lingering on things that caught my attention in the Bible and in everyday life experiences. Was Jesus talking to me? I would stop and "tune in" spiritually. I wish I would do it more often, because there are times when, at the end of the day, I notice a missed opportunity and wonder what I might have received were I more receptive.
Getting tucked into bed has been an exciting aspect of this process of spiritual awakening and renewal. It seems that as I focus on the Lord and invite Him to talk to me and reveal Himself to me while I sleep, I am refreshed and drift off to sleep in the most amazingly peaceful manner. Most mornings I wake up to a song of worship in my mind. It is so wonderful! One morning I woke up to the Lord singing to me. "Come eat of me. Partake of me" was on a loop and I woke up hungry for the Word and for fellowship with Jesus.
I found that as I read this book, Jesus was becoming more real and popping out all over the place. I'd find myself talking to Him more often in a conversational manner, and I've been opening my eyes and my ears to experience anything He wants to reveal to me.
Colossians has been on my mind also. Especially Colossians 2:2-3. All the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are safely kept in Christ. Christ is in me. Can I have access to all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge? That's crazy! How can I have that kind of access? I can't get it by force. Everything points to it being "hidden," a "mystery," and a "secret." I can become more and more enlightened in my spirit as Christ reveals Himself to me.
Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ has encouraged me to alter my lifestyle and include Christ more in each part. I'm into getting my spirit strengthened and then I'll really be able to know what I mean when I say, "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." I'm so excited to find out what that will mean for me!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
My Most Incredible Ski Day Ever
Yesterday was my best day skiing EVER. I began the day as a mediocre skier who has had the worst ski season ever this year. In fact, this season was so stinky, that I was seriously considering giving up skiing altogether. But yesterday, I had an epiphany. It was so incredible that I wanted to share it with everyone!
My day started off really hectic. I began skiing 9 years ago as a direct result of organizing ski trips for charter schools. I get such a good price on my trips that several families tell friends and, if the conditions are good, the event “snowballs.” Yesterday’s trip was one such trip with over 200 participants. So, my day began in the rental shop passing out tickets to what felt like a mob. Finally, things settled down and I got my own equipment. Of course, by then I was mentally exhausted. Because of my dismal outings the previous three trips, I didn’t even look forward to “hitting the slopes” myself.
However, my husband Paul has had a fantastic ski season this year. We would ride the lifts together and “swoosh” he’d be off. Meanwhile, I’d be alternating between terrifyingly “out of control” falling down the incline and painfully “in control” traversing. Paul would either wait for me at the lift or take in another run and catch me at the bottom for another lift ride up. On the lift he’d offer tips about overcoming fear and “letting loose” and try to help me see what I was doing wrong. Every trip it felt like the same thing and every time I showed zero improvement. By lunch I was exhausted and my legs ached terribly.
Then a couple of trips ago, I decided to take another skill improvement lesson. At the beginning of the lesson everyone had to state their goals. I said, “I know I’m doing something wrong, I just don’t know what it is.” My instructor observed me and said he could tell immediately what I was doing wrong. I was probably one of the better skiers in the class, but it had to do with getting into a rhythm. Apparently, this didn’t come naturally. So, he gave me some tips on establishing an artificial ski rhythm. And I worked at it – painfully.
And for the next two trips I practiced the things he told me and still didn’t see any progress in getting to the bottom of the hill faster. I did establish a goal for myself. “Before I die,” I told myself, “I want to make it from the top of the mountain to the bottom without stopping.” I recognized that this involved the intermediate goal of making it from the mid-mountain lift to the bottom without stopping, and I started to work on that. Yet, I didn’t feel success for two trips, but I did notice that the pain in my calves and thighs was replaced by a milder soreness in my knees.
And then, there was yesterday’s trip. My first run I went to the mid-mountain stop with Paul. Something didn’t feel right with one of my boots. Nonetheless, I struggled down the mountain and met up with Paul who was waiting patiently at the lift. Our next run took us to the top. The view is spectacular, the trip down was so painful. There was definitely something wrong with my boot. I picked my way down to the rental shop and got another pair. Then, without Paul, I attempted another run. It was better, but I was still too tentative.
I went in the lodge to find Paul and Victoria. We had lunch together. After lunch, I was going to go out with Paul, but was sidelined helping one of my customers for a few minutes, so Paul and I split up. I rode the lift up again – this time to the very top of the mountain – and had a heart to heart with Jesus about my terrible ski season. “Jesus,” I said, Maybe I’m not meant to ski, and if today isn’t better than the earlier part of my season, I guess I’ll just quit skiing altogether. Maybe I can focus on something that I am good at. But Jesus, I bet You’re an incredible skier. And You’re supposed to live in me. So, something doesn’t feel quite right. I must not be in touch with You as a skier. So, maybe you could ski in me.”
When I reached the top, I started on my “artificial rhythm” exercise which usually involves counting while alternating the pressure on my skis and moving up and down and the same time. Instead of counting though, I made up a little song the included “Jesus in me” “Help me to ski” “You ski in me” and “Now I am free” (Hey, it rhymed). Then, the amazing started happening. As I went down the slope, I started improving exponentially. It was amazing. I added all sorts of verses to my little song until it became an ode to Jesus the best skier in history, a worship epic of Alpine proportions.
And, here’s the best part, I made it all the way down without stopping. I was so excited, shocked, and amazed! I went into the lodge to see if Paul was there. Nope out on the slopes. I found my friend Ruth and told her; then I went out with her. Ruth’s an excellent skier with years of experience and she had already been out a lot that morning. So, we got to the top and planned a course down to the middle lift. I know she wasn’t going as fast as she’s capable, and I didn’t go as fast as Ruth, but she didn’t have to wait forever for me. She remarked that I was skiing much better than usual.
So, we went up to the top again, and I had another “all the way without stopping” run. I couldn’t wait to tell Paul. I looked for him at our meeting spot. Just missed him. I left him a note on a napkin and went out again. Two more runs. Half the mountain non-stop and then down the whole way w/o stopping. I was living a dream. Back to the lodge, and I finally met up with Paul.
We went to the top and did halfway down again (w/o stopping) then went to the top and did another full trip down. I stopped to talk to Paul (who was waiting) part of the way down, but I didn’t have to stop and rest or regroup. I made it in two non-stop legs. I wasn’t as fast as Paul (or Ruth) but I skied so much better than ever before that it was amazing. I kept thanking Jesus for this gift of a great ski day and for helping me achieve a goal that looked so unreachable just that morning. Not just once, but FOUR times!
My day started off really hectic. I began skiing 9 years ago as a direct result of organizing ski trips for charter schools. I get such a good price on my trips that several families tell friends and, if the conditions are good, the event “snowballs.” Yesterday’s trip was one such trip with over 200 participants. So, my day began in the rental shop passing out tickets to what felt like a mob. Finally, things settled down and I got my own equipment. Of course, by then I was mentally exhausted. Because of my dismal outings the previous three trips, I didn’t even look forward to “hitting the slopes” myself.
However, my husband Paul has had a fantastic ski season this year. We would ride the lifts together and “swoosh” he’d be off. Meanwhile, I’d be alternating between terrifyingly “out of control” falling down the incline and painfully “in control” traversing. Paul would either wait for me at the lift or take in another run and catch me at the bottom for another lift ride up. On the lift he’d offer tips about overcoming fear and “letting loose” and try to help me see what I was doing wrong. Every trip it felt like the same thing and every time I showed zero improvement. By lunch I was exhausted and my legs ached terribly.
Then a couple of trips ago, I decided to take another skill improvement lesson. At the beginning of the lesson everyone had to state their goals. I said, “I know I’m doing something wrong, I just don’t know what it is.” My instructor observed me and said he could tell immediately what I was doing wrong. I was probably one of the better skiers in the class, but it had to do with getting into a rhythm. Apparently, this didn’t come naturally. So, he gave me some tips on establishing an artificial ski rhythm. And I worked at it – painfully.
And for the next two trips I practiced the things he told me and still didn’t see any progress in getting to the bottom of the hill faster. I did establish a goal for myself. “Before I die,” I told myself, “I want to make it from the top of the mountain to the bottom without stopping.” I recognized that this involved the intermediate goal of making it from the mid-mountain lift to the bottom without stopping, and I started to work on that. Yet, I didn’t feel success for two trips, but I did notice that the pain in my calves and thighs was replaced by a milder soreness in my knees.
And then, there was yesterday’s trip. My first run I went to the mid-mountain stop with Paul. Something didn’t feel right with one of my boots. Nonetheless, I struggled down the mountain and met up with Paul who was waiting patiently at the lift. Our next run took us to the top. The view is spectacular, the trip down was so painful. There was definitely something wrong with my boot. I picked my way down to the rental shop and got another pair. Then, without Paul, I attempted another run. It was better, but I was still too tentative.
I went in the lodge to find Paul and Victoria. We had lunch together. After lunch, I was going to go out with Paul, but was sidelined helping one of my customers for a few minutes, so Paul and I split up. I rode the lift up again – this time to the very top of the mountain – and had a heart to heart with Jesus about my terrible ski season. “Jesus,” I said, Maybe I’m not meant to ski, and if today isn’t better than the earlier part of my season, I guess I’ll just quit skiing altogether. Maybe I can focus on something that I am good at. But Jesus, I bet You’re an incredible skier. And You’re supposed to live in me. So, something doesn’t feel quite right. I must not be in touch with You as a skier. So, maybe you could ski in me.”
When I reached the top, I started on my “artificial rhythm” exercise which usually involves counting while alternating the pressure on my skis and moving up and down and the same time. Instead of counting though, I made up a little song the included “Jesus in me” “Help me to ski” “You ski in me” and “Now I am free” (Hey, it rhymed). Then, the amazing started happening. As I went down the slope, I started improving exponentially. It was amazing. I added all sorts of verses to my little song until it became an ode to Jesus the best skier in history, a worship epic of Alpine proportions.
And, here’s the best part, I made it all the way down without stopping. I was so excited, shocked, and amazed! I went into the lodge to see if Paul was there. Nope out on the slopes. I found my friend Ruth and told her; then I went out with her. Ruth’s an excellent skier with years of experience and she had already been out a lot that morning. So, we got to the top and planned a course down to the middle lift. I know she wasn’t going as fast as she’s capable, and I didn’t go as fast as Ruth, but she didn’t have to wait forever for me. She remarked that I was skiing much better than usual.
So, we went up to the top again, and I had another “all the way without stopping” run. I couldn’t wait to tell Paul. I looked for him at our meeting spot. Just missed him. I left him a note on a napkin and went out again. Two more runs. Half the mountain non-stop and then down the whole way w/o stopping. I was living a dream. Back to the lodge, and I finally met up with Paul.
We went to the top and did halfway down again (w/o stopping) then went to the top and did another full trip down. I stopped to talk to Paul (who was waiting) part of the way down, but I didn’t have to stop and rest or regroup. I made it in two non-stop legs. I wasn’t as fast as Paul (or Ruth) but I skied so much better than ever before that it was amazing. I kept thanking Jesus for this gift of a great ski day and for helping me achieve a goal that looked so unreachable just that morning. Not just once, but FOUR times!
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